the private thoughts of captian james
by duckmadgirl
Summary: this is what I believe that Charles is thinking at certain points during the series. THIS IS MY OWN THAUGHTS ON WHAT CHARLES IS THINKING. I DON'T OWN THE CHARATERS IN OUR GIRL. SAME LANGUAGE AS IN SERIES. please read and review. this is a redo of the story I had with a similar name and deleted to check spelling and grammar
1. Chapter 1

Well that's just perfect a new medic to be attached to two section. I hope this won't cause too much disruption to the section and the platoon they have already established themselves. SHE I don't know her name yet has not long finished her mission specific training

She arrived at Brize on time considering she was only told yesterday that she was to be deployed and had a night to say her goodbyes to her family and friends. I have just found out her name is Molly Dawes and she is from east London

Why did she have to laugh at what I said I do not see how cockwombles is funny? Well ok maybe it is a little but still she shouldn't have laughed it is not professional. I want to dislike her but there is something about her that I can't but my finger on it. This is going to be a bumpy ride, I never meant it about it intentions about lobbing her out of the plane.

I hope Sam will be alight. I do miss him so when I am on tour but I have to go. I can't stand to be hear any longer. Until Rebecca has sorted everything out and got things with the divorce cleared up. She was never any good at the army life and never like me going on tour, she never understood what the army meant to me and what I would do if I is all I have ever known I don't know what o would do if I left

 **please read and review. these chapters are my opinion on what Charles was thinking whilst on tour with molly and 2 section**


	2. Chapter 2

STAGS ONLY! Why did I say that, she must think I am a right posh prig…oh…right…a Rupert. That's a new one. I don't think anyone has called me that since high school. Why didn't I show or at least tell her where the female quarters are. Stupid. STUPID. STUPID!. One thing I will say is that you do have to be strong in the army and not take things that your CO'S say to heart. Even so I feel that I must apologise. That can be done tomorrow I think we all need to rest and acclimatise and I have arranged a physical training exercise for half 5 tomorrow.

I feel sorry for her. She froze in the hospital this afternoon. All medical personnel were called to the hospital and it was a bloody affair not a nice welcome in to the royal army medical corps and to afghan. I hope she can compose herself and get over her fear of blood and let her training kick in. we are to be deployed to our FOB in a few days and there she will be on her own dealing with all sorts in the field with basic equipment.

Oh crap I have only gone and done it again put my foot in it. I should have told her that it was full kit and not the shorts and tee-shirt that she came out of the tent in. "I suppose we should be grateful that we are not wearing your stilettoes" once again I have embarrassed her in front of her section.

Then I had to go and do it again. Make fun of how slow she was being and yelling at her. It was hot and she must still be acclimatising to the conditions added to the heat was several kilos of personal protection kit and then the med kit, it can't have been easy for her. Then taking the piss about the only medic who can't stand the sight of blood.

The boys then proceeded to take the piss at the med check before the deployment to the FOB sticking bits of tissue on their faces, I must talk to them. They don't want to piss molly off she is the one after all who will be treating them in the field and in the FOB

I have had reviews on the previous version of this story regarding my spelling. I am sorry about this I am crap at spellings and word is not recognising any incorrect spellings as I type them up first .


	3. Chapter 3

We arrived at the FOB today it is okay nice and compact but safe for now. Our first patrol went off without any problems. Some kids approached us but soon went away with a simple gift as a pen. I really hope that they aren't spying for the Taliban. One girl seems interested in molly maybe because she is a female. I have explained to her molly I mean and the rest of the section that the children may approach them but we are to focus on the task in hand. The second patrol we were not so lucky we were ambushed. Shots were fired at us. Somehow they found out about our female medic. I couldn't see anything or anyone. Smurf claimed he saw someone in the bunker and opened fire. I hope to god that there weren't any children playing there.

When they all got back I went to see molly in the med tent so she could check my blisters and I could ask her what she saw and thought, as she has told me before about her concerns about smurf which I brushed off. She manage to bluff it out saying things like he just saved my arse out there but I will have a word with him.

Well that's just great, because of me having a word with smurf, the boys are taking the piss with molly and sending her to Coventry which is definitely worse than Helmand. I must talk to them it isn't right what they are doing to molly and they need her onside.

I can't believe how fucking stupid smurf was and molly for that matter. Smurf had gone down to the river as he had spotted Molly's pen girl Bashera, he got shot by a sniper that no one could see. Molly went to treat. It was a mine field. Old Russian mines and some new mines. Molly crawled and knocked one with her foot. I am so glad she is ok.

After she treated smurf she was so bloody stupid going on the winch in to the MERT. She was a sitting duck. Thankfully no one took a shot at her stupid beyond belief and I will tell her so when she arrives back.

The boys now seem to have re accepted her now saying she is one of the lads which she replied by calling them all fuck muppets

 **was so excited to hear about the new series of our girl then gutted to find out it wont be about molly and Charles #not happy**

 **on another note I don't own the charters in this story please read and review**


	4. Chapter 4

I can't believe molly. Running off like that to give that Bashera kid her scarf back. Doesn't she understand that it is dangerous to run off on her own like that. We are in a hostile war zone she needs to learn that we rely on team work in the British army. We are all small clogs in the bigger picture. Besides I need her by my side.

We arrive back to the FOB to find surf had been discharged and deemed fit for service. Acting like a complete twat still. Telling molly that she had to put baby oil on his wound or he will die. Utter bollocks in my opinion. We also have a special guest arriving tomorrow organised by yours truly and the lads think it is Prince Harry. The post has arrived and thankfully my mummy has sent me the paddling pool I asked for. I got two of the lads to sort it out for me.

We were back in the village molly setting up a temp medical post when that Bashera girl and her mother turned up very distressed and saying we should treat the girls' eye and it was molly's fault which it wasn't it is as wrong for a child to be beaten by their farther hear as it is back home. The girl apparently told molly not to go to the mountains tomorrow. I was only told this when we got back to base and I was trying to relax in my swimming pool when molly and smurf told me and our special guests arrived. The army music corps.

We went to the checkpoint and I can't believe how molly was rabbiting on about how beautiful it was hear and if there wasn't a war on and she would move hear. And that she would have to have satellite TV, Wi-Fi, Topshop and a Starbucks. Bloody funny actually in a bizarre way.

It is our turn to put the entertainment on so we will be singing my favourite song. I need a female volunteer and the only female in the group is molly so she was volunteered by default but we needed to worry about that later as we had our concerns about Bashera so we had for short hand the afghan social services help us and I had to get molly out of her pit at the un-godliest of hours as she was the only one to have seen the girls farther.

I can't believe it. What sort of farther would attach one of those vests to their child and make them walk out in to the village and plan to blow everything in sight up. Then molly walking up to her with out her helmet or other protection. GOD FORBID the signal jammers failed I don't know if I would have ever forgiven myself.

Tonight was amazing. I sang don't go breaking my heart with molly. it was amazing and the boys seamed to enjoy it and sang along..

 **please give me a shout hi I you are reading this in the form of a review as hardly anyone seams to be reading this and I want to know who and where is reading this. many thanks DMG**


	5. Chapter 5

Why did I put molly and smurf on R&R together? It is clear that he has feelings for her that stretch wat beyond just friends. It is going to be a long and hard few days. The day started off with the afghan Olympics. Some people need to put some bloody effort in. Molly won for 2 section. Then we had bigger problems. I was talking with molly after dipping my spoon in to her coco pops. She thought it was sohail and yelled out. It was quite funny actually.

Then things went horribly wrong the ANA came to us saying that they had not heard from the group at the mountain pass and that this wasn't normal as they always check in with the night report. So we went to the mountain pass and as the medic molly has to come with us just in case. I do hope this doesn't put a stop to her R&R and send it down the shitter

A horrific sight greeted us at the mountain pass. They were all dead. Shot. It had to be green on green. They would have called it in if there had been an ambush. Molly didn't cope well she was the one who had to confirm death. Including that of the young lad with the Rolex.

We got back to the FOB and I had to talk to molly and make sure she was ok with all that happened I could tell she was spooked by it all. She was just getting ready to leave. I needed her. We talked for a bit and I asked her to get me some of my coffee from the nespresso shop in London rosabya. I inked it on to her arm so she wouldn't forget and it also gave me a reason to hold her arm. Hold her close to me. I didn't want to let go. But kinders called and approached the tent. I quickly let go of molly and told her that the temp medic was on his way and she should get packing and be ready to hand over.

Molly didn't want to go. Sohail was missing and she was worried for us all or was it just me I could tell by her voice when she spoke to me. I managed to convince her to go she needs a break and I need my bloody coffee. This will be a long few weeks.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Molly arrived back to day however we are heading back to Bastion till drawdown in the next few days. I am glad she is back; I need her. They arrived back this afternoon and all the boys were laughing and joking and talking a load of old bull shite about molly going to Newport with smurf and what they must have got up to.

She tried to tell me nothing happened but I just yelled and asked her why she was telling me. I can see nothing happened and boys will be boys. She got me my coffee. Why did I have to yell at her? I feel so stupid. I am now sat in the watch tower. I think I am falling for her. NO. Scratch that I have fallen madly in love with her. I have loved her ever since that first moment when she laughed at me at Brize Norton

We were en route to Bastian when were stopped with a jolt. There was something under a white sheet pinned down with rocks. Out hear then it could be a explosive devise so we had to explore. The boys explored the area and I went up to the sheet to be followed by molly if she was needed. She must have a death wish as she ran after me and started asking if I loved her as she was fond of me. This is completely against army regulations. I told her not to mention anything like this again till we get back to Brize. Under the sheet was sohail he had been badly beaten. Molly managed to work on him and get him back to Bastian hospital. He was stable for a while. Long enough to tell us what was happening and that Bashera was sent to spy on us by her farther and that the Taliban had beat him because he wouldn't kill someone. Molly. He crashed and unfortunately died. Why would someone want molly dead? I held her close and caressed her face. All I know is she is never leaving my side till we get home. Or my sight for that matter. If anything happens to her I will never forgive myself.

Many of you might notice have tweaked my last chapter this is because I didn't read my hand written copy when typing up. C.j is suppose to think he is falling in love with molly in this chapter


	6. Chapter 6

Trying to get the troops to do a run around the area of bastion. Molly begged for a ride but she will regret it if I had let her. I told them when they eventually made an appearance at the end that the last one past me would be on latrine clean. The men had a very good idea but back fired spectacularly on their part. They all got in to a line so all past me at the same time. No one came last. Very cleaver. I made them all go on latrine clean. I don't envy them one bit.

Apparently smurf had had a letter off of his mother telling him that she had a premonition like before… that's just what I need smurf getting spooked and fragged. Kinders has told molly that any mission to apprehend Badral will involve her as she is the only one that has actually seen him. I hate the yanks taking over.

In the scoff tent I could see molly and the men. No scratch that they are acting like bloody children. Piling god knows how many sausages on their plates and trying to eat them all in a few minutes. Bloody vile to watch. Molly who was talking to Qaseem at the time came over and was like I don't know how I can keep my hands off you. I feel the same but we have to be careful it is against army. We agreed to wait out. Well we have to.

The Americans now have a possible location for Badral. None of two section apart from molly are involved in the operation apart from molly. I am going as well. There is no way I am letting her out of my sight I can't … no I won't let her go on her own.

The ANA went in to the compound first to secure it. When we were called in we found that there were around five men inside. None of them were Badral. Three of the men had been blindfolded for a precaution. One of them lashed out at molly and smacked her in the mouth and gave her a split lip and a nose blead.

After getting medical attention for her split lip and nose bleed molly along with the other lads were packing up some of the non-essentials to ship of to Cyprus for drawdown. I had to talk to molly as she was wanted in the detention centre apparently one of the insurgents knows molly even though she has never seen any of them before today. We were listening to the film footage of one of the integrations when we heard what we all thought was Bashera, and it was all molly's fault. Molly wanted to go in, I was dead against it she is off her nut but the bloody Americans thought he might reveal more. The man was basher's brother he told us that she wasn't safe and it confirmed to us that badral was planning something.

The Americans have mounted a plan to capture Badral which mainly involved 2 section doing the donkey work. Walking back molly was in a state saying how if she had never got involved then none of this would be happening and her section wouldn't be in danger. And how she had fucked up. She gave that little girl a chance a chance she wouldn't have as a pawn in her father's sadistic game. I told her this and how she has taught me that to change the big picture we have to change small things to make it work. She has definitely taught me more in 6 months of being on tour than all my time at Sandhurst to which she denied.

When she eventually calmed down there was a knock at the door and it was smurf. Molly hid in my wardrobe. He pulled out the engagement ring his mum sent him. I knew what he wanted to do with it. He told me as such he wanted to give it to molly. I told him to wait out that it was endangering us all and against army protocol. Then he asked me how I proposed to my wife. Well technically she is now my ex-wife. Molly stormed out pissed I tried to explain that we split up but she wasn't having any of it saying I lied. She even guessed I had kids. Why the hell didn't I find time to tell her? Nice one Charles you twat.

We left Bastian at 02:00 under the cover of darkness so we weren't seen we were dropped of a short distance from our compound and the checkpoint. We were walking along a ditch when we heard a loud bang. It took us all by surprise then the heavens opened. Thunder bloody thunder. I thought someone had taken a shot at us. I looked at molly thinking it was the end.

We arrived at the checkpoint and in to the disused compound shortly before dawn. We didn't know how long we would have to wait. I had the boys on look out and molly set up a temp med centre. Our ANA contact arrived and started spouting some random crap about city and united.

Smurf went and spoke with molly. Then I went in and told smurf to get out. She had to listen to me. She told me I was economical with the truth. I told her about Sam. She told me that I fucked up big time. We talked some more and I told her how fucking scared I was earlier in the morning. I told her how much I loved her and I wanted her to be the last thing I see. She felt the same and replied with ditto.

We had communication from the check point that the suspect truck was approaching the barriers we kitted up and then the truck was at the C.P. it was a close call and the truck wasn't stopped until the second barrier. Smurf and molly was with me and the others were on look out. We were talking with the driver of the truck when a shot rang out. Smurf had shot at a farmer and killed his goat. The man was unarmed and smurf was ranting and raving about how he would lay down his life for me and molly and how he heard everything and saw the kiss.

Then all hell broke loose I don't remember much just immense pain and pissing blood molly's face looking over me talking to me then nothing

TO BE CONTINUED !

SORRY I HAVENT PUT UP FOR A WHILE I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH UNI WORK AND RESITS. STILL HAVE MORE RESITS TO DO BUT WILL PUT UP MORE SOON XX


	7. Chapter 7

I have been back in Birmingham for a few weeks now. I am still spaced out on more painkillers and different drugs than I care to mention. I can't remember much about what happened. Just immense pain and molly's face peering over me. Then not much else just bright lights and shouting lots of shouting which I am assuming must have been bastion. Some parts of Birmingham are a blur as well.

I remember Rebecca bringing Sam to see me and then noting until I woke up to hear that molly and smurf were outside my room and had been all night. They came in to the room and I still didn't know if they were there. Well I am drugged up to the eyeballs on painkillers and they can make you hallucinate. Smurf made off pretty quickly after saying his peace. Which left me and molly, until Rebecca brought Sam before school. Sam was excited to see his message hadn't been washed off in theatre. Molly made her excuses to leave. She gave me the Ditto line when I said it was good to see her. Rebecca's face said it all she could see something between us and didn't like it.

Molly did come back after 2 section had arrived to see smurf. We talked about Rebecca. She was never any good with me going on tour. All I have ever wanted was to be in the army until I met molly. I told her about resigning my commission. What happened was my fault. It happened on my watch. I don't know what I will do but I do know one thing nothing will be in mine and molly's way anymore.

Molly has gone back to barracks with the rest of the lads for parade and medal presentation. After Smurfs first shooting and molly's heroics I recommended her for the military cross. She deserved it then even more so now. After what she did saving 2 badly wounded soldiers and taking out a top Taliban insurgent.

I have heard from kinders that molly is saying that this MC stuff is bull shit and she don't deserve it and that she is no hero. Which is ridiculous. She crawled through a mine field and hit a mine which blew and lived to tell the tail then went on to treat Smurf. If that is not heroic then I don't know what is.

Oh crap she has stood me up. I was stupid to think that she would come. I am sat in one of the poshest restaurants in Bath. She has shown up looking as stunning out of her uniform as she does in it. I still have a bit of a limp with this damned big clumpy boot on my left foot molly says it makes me look cute.

Why oh why did I ask her if she wanted me to choose something for her. Her reaction was priceless to say the least. Let's just say I won't be doing that again in a hurry. Then I told her my real name. She laughed she actually laughed at me. What is so bloody funny about Charles? What will she do call me boss man for the rest of our lives

I kissed molly's hand all romantic like to which she replied "did you just wipe cabbage on my hand" so I joked with her saying that I didn't want to soil a napkin. We talked about what we are doing next. Molly has had some things forwarded to her by her commanding officer. I have more rehab and physio at Hedley court. She asked if I wanted her to stay with me. I just want her to be brilliant not having to ferry me back and forth to rehab.

I have been desperate to kiss her since we first kissed we almost kissed in the restaurant but the waitress came and filled our glasses. My parents have gone to Lake Garda for the weekend. So I have the house to myself. Again I don't know what is funny about this but molly laughed at this.

We walked back to my parents' house. It was only a short stroll and bath is beautiful at twilight. It was amazing we spent the night just wrapped up in each other's company. We spent most of the next day together as well. Unfortunately she had to go back to London that evening. I offered to drive her but she said that she had booked her train ticket before she came down.

I can't believe it smurf is dead. He survives 2 serious shootings in afghan and dies at home with a bleed on the brain. He was with molly at the time. They had apparently been planning to go to Las Vegas. They were in west ham football stadium at the time and he fell to the floor. At least he was with molly.

Today is Smurf's funeral. I was shocked that molly was in the funeral car but the she was close to smurf. The service was a lovely one. I read a Dylan Thomas poem under milk wood. To make matters worse Candy made me feel horrible with what she said to me about how she gave the army both of her boys and all she got back was a flag.

Molly has told me that she has taken a short tour training Afghan medics. She will be brilliant I know she will. It will be a long three months thank goodness for skype and email.

Three months later

Molly turned up out of the blue. She can have been back a day and she came to me. I was doing some DIY when there was a knock at the door and there she was looking as beautiful as ever I let her in and let's just say the DIY was left forgotten. Thank goodness my parents have gone to the south of France for the week.

 **thank you all for reading and sticking with this story more stories coming soon**


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